How to survive the event of frozen water pipes at 
Camp Bullfrog:

STEP ONE:  Get Ahead of the Grime

Start the night before the freeze by filling the kids' makeshift bathtub with all the water it can handle.  You are going to want to be able to flush.  In fact, make sure that all the yellows that have been mellowing are flushed and that the brown makes it down before you go to bed.  You do NOT want to deal with this first thing in the morning.

STEP TWO:  Clean Hands Make Mom Happy

Always keep several large bowls for quick filling when there is a trickle of water. Water is great for washing hands and dishes, you will want to have some close by.  

STEP THREE:  Clothing Crisis Averted

Do all laundry possible!  But if time is an issue, prioritize. i.e. undies, socks, towels, comfies, and the scarf you spilled syrup on.  You will need the scarf (see STEP SIX).  Again if time is a priority, set work clothes aside till the weekend when you might have water again.  Or when you might go down to Ashby's or McLelland's if it turns out to be a long freeze.

STEP FOUR:  Defrost Readiness

Be prepared.  The best laid attempts are least likely to get mislaid.  Test the hairdryer, making sure all repairs are still intact.  Have your one funky umbrella ready for any precipitation or icicle drippings you may encounter while attempting to defrost the pipes.  Save time by making sure the good extension cord is already unhooked from the Christmas decorations, of course you will have to tell the kids it will only be for the night. 

STEP FIVE:  Hair Bomb

Showering yourself MUST be done before the freeze.  The hot water pipes will likely take longer to defrost than the cold water, by cruelty of nature and design.  You do not want to be caught cursing your fate.  Shower that night.  Greasy hair bomb is hard to get rid of any other way.

STEP SIX:  Dreaded Defrost

Next comes the Pipe Defrost event itself, this begins when the cold water starts to flow as a trickle, warm enough to possibly maintain a full defrost.  Follow these instructions precisely: plug in hairdryer, prop umbrella, turn on hairdryer, prop hairdryer, go inside turn on hot water (there will not be any water coming out), wait five minutes, check on hairdryer, decide you are defrosting the wrong pipe, repeat hairdryer propping-waiting process, determine it is a waste of time and nothing is going to happen and put everything back in its place.  Now, very important: remember that you forgot to put on the scarf which you had so carefully washed the night before.

  

STEP SEVEN:  Dishes Rinse Repeat

Boil a big pot of water.  Meanwhile rinse dishes with the cold water that is now flowing nicely thanks to the oops-defrost of the wrong pipe.  Partially fill the empty side of the sink with cold water-if that side is no longer empty, make a note that you waited too long to get started and there isn't much you can do about it, except to curse a little bit that you didn't think to buy paper bowls and make freezer dinners.  Now place the rinsed dishes in the clean, frigidly cold water.  Pour hot molten lava water over the top.  Not on yourself.  After you realize that you didn't put enough cold water in to compensate for the lava water and after you nurse your burning hands a bit, wash those dishes with soap.  Drain water then rinse with cold.  

STEP EIGHT: Almost Done

After a very busy day there is a chance to sit down and survey the scene of the accomplished work.  (sink's now full of dinner dishes, school laundry's piled high, still no sign of warm water shower, looks an awful lot like nothing got done.) 

Now all that is left to do is start looking up prices for a hotel room...